Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The poetry of The Evening Whirl

I may work for the largest weekly newspaper in St. Louis, but I don't work for the coolest one. No, that honor goes to The Evening Whirl, "An interrupted Crime Fighting Publication Since 1938" according to the masthead.
There's no online edition, so you'll have to hunt one down for yourself. It goes for about 50 cents a pop, and you can only find it for sale in inner-city gas stations, usually in scary neighborhoods. It's got a writing style that is a modern revision of the great confidential magazines of the 50s. From time to time, I'll be sharing some of their poetry. Here are some gems from the issue I picked up today.
Top Story Headline: PAYCHECK ROW SENDS ONE TO THE HOSPITAL, THE OTHER TO HIS GRAVE

The lede to that story: Sometimes when your money ain't right, it's enough to make you blow up like the Godfather. Times are hard these days. You need your ends.

Another front page story refers to two prosecutors as James G. "The G" Martine and Jennifer "Buzzsaw" Joyce.

The lede of a story about a pedophile minister: God is no respecter of persons, and neither are some of the ministers who represent him.

From their Crime Ticker: Dope eaters Tommie Guy ... and Shanta Wright were caught in the 4200 block of Aldine on Thursday. Guy, who had the tools, was charges with possession of drug paraphernalia ...

This is all from one issue. Expect this to become a regular item here.

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