Monday, January 31, 2005

Naw, we don't need 'em.

Not to sound too hippy-dippy, but is ignoring the potential benefits of 250 mind-altering chemicals seem a little crazy to you? Naw, just keep 'em illegal.

Villany Unlimited

The Pen collects crime books, of course. The best one we've read recently (and probably the best-titled book we own) is Villany Unlimited, a 1957 history of the French Underworld. We'll post more on it when we're done ... but suffice to say, we had no idea that they still used the guillotine in 1957, and that cheeky criminals considered it funny to have a dotted line tattooed around their neck.

Stopped Cold

Crime goes down in cold weather, at least in Maine, where it gets really, really cold. Wonder if it goes up in the cold in warm places?

Thursday, January 27, 2005

This isn't scary at all.

Nope. Nothing wrong with this at all. Crime's scary. Shut up.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Jamaica is nuts!

There were 1,500 murders in Jamaica last year ... and they have a population of three million! That's fucking insane. You can't fight that with a "Constabulary Force." You need some fucking cops.

Death in New England

The problem with being against the death penalty is this: maybe we shouldn't kill this guy ... but I'm not going to cry about it. Come on, you New Englanders ... shit or get off the pot.

Horse Woes

Horse racing has never had the squeaky clean image of (pauses, tries to think of sport with squeaky clean image) ... badmitton. But this seems pretty bad.

Everyone's a Criminal

While this Scottish study of crime is narrow and shouldn't really be used to extrapolate a broad point, I'm going to do it anyway: you're a felon. Aren't you? Most people are. We may not be serial offenders (at least, not any more), but most everyone has committed at least one felony in their life.

Thursday, January 20, 2005


We watched Revenge of the Ninja this week. It's one of the most unintentionally funny films in history; check it out.

Looks like this guy did.

Thanks to Mike S. for the tip.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Grusome images of the day ...

Maybe knives aren't all that fun after all. Check out this very interesting article on an expert at matching wounds to weapons. Very informative:

In all likelihood, the testimony yesterday did add some new words to
jurors' vocabularies. Kerf — a slit made by cutting. Tang — the part of a knife
blade buried in the handle. Bolster — the part of the blade near the


We can't help but laugh about crime in Britain. To sort of quote Bill Hicks, we're sure it's a problem, but knife-wielding ruffians just don't sound to bad to a St. Louisan.

Multi-media spree!

We cover true crime, books, movies, comics, games and now ... musicals! The old lady got me to watch Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. I have to say, it's the best serial-killer musical we've ever seen. Based off an old penny dreadful, it's got tons of throat slitting plus Angela Lansbury. That's something for everyone, friend.

A big score ...

Trial starting today for another corporate criminal. These guys are no pikers ... $11 billion! Sorta puts car theives in perspective, huh?

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Kansas City Mob gene pool.

Check out what can happen when someone takes their lineage too seriously.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Mob Porn

Okay, I've now had over twenty hits from people searching for "shirtless gotti boys." Those guys must be really hot. And somehow Crime Spree is the very first thing that pops up when someone types that in. (It's only going to get worse now that I've mentioned it again).

Attention, those of you who are searching for the half-naked scions of blood money families: there are plenty of "dishy" guys out there who come from good backgrounds. Shouldn't you develop a crush on one of them? You're breaking your mother's heart.

Assassins take note

Religious zealots are trying to help you kill the president. In the eyes of these fine folks, it's worth giving hitmen a litle help to further the cause. Send 'em a thank you note.

EDIT: That's sarcasm, people.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Jesus Fucking Christ ...

You might have heard something about the 40-year-old murder that's currently being tried again.

You might think it would be difficult to retry someone for a 40 year old crime, due to witnesses dying and all that shit. But those freedom lovers in Louisiana have it all figured out ... they've got a friendly local radio personality acting out the testimony of passed on witnesses.

This sounds extremely fair. First off, have witness that cannot be cross-examined. Secondly, have their parts played by honey-voiced minor celebrities.

Well, shit. If that's how we're going to play it, why not have the defendant's part be played by Denzel Washington?

Worst defense ever

Maybe the New York Times is taking this out of context. But this defense of the Abu Ghraib soldier is laughably bad:

"Using naked and hooded detainees to make a human pyramid was much like what cheerleaders 'all over America' do at football games, the lawyer, Guy Womack, argued."

Um, no.

DNA City

Police are requesting an entire town's worth of men to submit to DNA testing to catch a killer. Is that legal? Does that mean anything anymore?

Friday, January 07, 2005

A great turn of phrase ...

Crime-Spree isn't usually interested in celebritiy trials. However, we have to give the thumb's up for the last three words of this sentence about Michael Jackson:
"They corroborated many of each other's lurid stories, providing the Santa Barbara Sheriff's Department and District Attorney Thomas Sneddon with a stereophonic sleaze compendium."

Thursday, January 06, 2005

The Pen Returns

From the shadowsa of a real job.

In New York, car theft is an actual crime ... meaning, the people who do it actually do it because they are trying to make money, and not just for fun. Here in St. Louis, people steal cars so they can drink gin and have sex with strippers ... and least, that's what it seemed like happened to my car when it got stolen.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Beats working?

Ever wondered how to make Bible-era fakes? It's all in the patina. Seems like an awful lot of work. If you can do this, shouldn't you just go get a job?

Cyber Crime is Boring

Always has been, always will be. So it's too bad that the spam that shows up in your mailbox is more scams than porn these days. Though it's good to know that "hot lesbian action" still made the top ten.