Thursday, April 21, 2005

5 criminal hotties

Crime pays. It pays to be good looking. So, doesn't it stand to reason that a good-looking criminal would be clocking mad dollars? Well, yes. So, hoping to steer my lady readers and my avid gay following away from the bronzed dildoes in the post below, here are five smokin' criminals, from nottest to hottest.

John Dillinger Posted by Hello

They say that when John Dillinger was shot, women ran into the street to sop up a little of his blood. I guess standards were lower back then. The famous robber had a way-cool mustache, and that "yeah, I'm a badass" smirk, but I don't think he'd cut it these days.

Ted Bundy Posted by Hello
What a cute serial killer! That mop of hair, that Devil-may-care grin ... Women wrote Bundy letters offering to marry him after he'd been convicted of multiple woman-slayings. To quote Bill Hicks, "And I can't get laid? Ted must have been real big on that 'sense of humor' you ladies always mention in your polls.'"

Machine Gun Kelly Posted by Hello
How cool is Machine Gun Kelly? This cool: he took off his hat for the profile mug shot, because that wouldn't look very good. But then he puts it back on to be dapper as all fuck for his next picture. That's cool.

"Handsome" Harry Pierpont Posted by Hello
While Dillinger got all the press, Pierpont ran the game and actually had the nickname "Handsome." He kinda looks like Jason Priestley, dontchathink? Anyway, I guess he never learned to smirk like John, the Dylan to his Brandon, and thus is lost to history. Again, like Jason Priestley.

"Monster" Kody Scott Posted by Hello
Leon Bing once wrote something to the effect of "Monster Kody is too handsome to get cast playing himself in the film." Kody was a bad-assed OG Crip when he converted to a black seperatist movement in prison, reforming himself (I guess ... I think he's back in prison) and writing his memoir of gangsterism Monster. It's a hell of a book. And, well, just look at him. I'm a straight guy, and I think he's pretty damn hot. For a killer.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL NO OJ??????

6:44 AM  

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